Be Still
by TheBooker
Summary: Bloodlines one shot, multiple POV: When Moroi rebels attack the Court it all happens so quickly. By the time they realise what has happened, it is already too late. Spoilers for Last Sacrifice and Bloodlines.


_**AUTHORS NOTE**_

**Warning: Spoilers ahead! You have been warned.**

**I'm currently in the middle of re-reading Bloodlines in prep for The Golden Lily - it's so close! I have so many ideas for one-shots and one of them is the attack on Court. Especially considering its only mention in the book is passing and with the change of format, we lost what would have been a first person perspective on it. Because I prefer writing this way, I'll be writing third person with the focus switching from different characters when necessary. The main focus will be on Adrian and Jill.**

**It's my first one-shot so I hope I manage to balance everything out enough. I won't be updating it further because Bloodlines is set shortly after the attack and well, that would be daft.**

**As always, I appreciate feedback (positive and negative) and I hope you enjoy it!**

* * *

Adrian Ivashkov was in excruciating pain. For the most part it was in his chest, centered between two lungs in the organ that pumped blood around his body. It was also everywhere else and lingered long enough in his head to make it pound.

It was called heartbreak and arguably it was the worst pain that could be experienced.

For as long as he could remember, Adrian had relied on two things to keep his sanity in check: alcohol and clove cigarettes. Not even his vices in excess seemed to make much of a difference now. He could still see her – whether his eyes were opened or closed – always.

Rose Hathaway was haunting him – and she wasn't even dead.

She had led him into a one-sided relationship, using him until her true love Dimitri Belikov was back on the market again after a brief bout of Strigoi life. He was so hopelessly in love with her that he was willing to ignore signs that were now painfully obvious.

True to her word, Rose had given him a chance after she returned from Siberia. Nobody said it had to be a fair one.

It was safe to say that Adrian had taken the break-up hard. He had spent repeated nights in the bar, where no one dared question his desire to drink until he felt numb.

The looks that followed him were all full of pity now. Not only had his heart been broken – which apparently everyone saw coming but him – but his mother was also facing a perjury sentence. Then there was Tatiana's death.

Yeah, a lot of people felt sorry for Adrian Ivashkov. Nobody felt sorry for him more than he did himself.

What was worse was the fact that Dimitri and Rose were inescapable. He saw them everywhere, no matter how hard he went about avoiding them. Each time he saw them together it was an unwelcome reminder that he had lost. Each time it was like a stake to the heart.

Even if he did realise that she did have a point about who she was meant to be with, he was not ready to think reasonably. Instead he wanted to mope around, feeling sorry for himself. He would accept whatever came next for him – whether it was insanity or liver failure. He knew that there was an equal chance at both.

His thoughts had been dark like this ever since he had left Rose after the break-up. There was nothing he could do about it. It wasn't like he wanted to think like this. If anything he wanted nothing more than to forget about his little dhampir and the effect she had on him, but it was impossible. Her memory was as stubborn as her persona: she was not going away anytime soon.

"Adrian!" The voice shook him painfully from unconsciousness.

He opened his eyes to find that he had managed to wind up on the floor. If memory served, he had been on the sofa that was a few feet away. How he achieved that he had no idea but he knew from experience that drink was a mystery like that.

Another thing that had changed from the last time he had been fully aware of his surroundings was the girl stood in front of him. She was tall, even for a Moroi, but the way she stood made it obvious that she lacked confidence. Her face looked like it was yet to grow entirely out of its childishness and her brown curls lingered haphazardly around it. She looked just about ready to burst into tears.

Jill Dragomir was perhaps the only friend he had. While her crush had been painfully obvious, he had adopted a more brotherly role with her. It was the sight of her – particularly in the state she was in – that he forced himself to move for.

When he was on his feet, he pulled her into a hug. She squeezed back alarmingly tightly and was sobbing into his shoulder within seconds.

"You were supposed to meet me – you said. I didn't want to go alone." Her words were barely coherent but he picked them up enough to know what she had said. She sounded so young and it was no wonder in times like this why he was so protective of her.

"I know, Jailbait. I'm sorry." He had little experience with this sort of thing so the best he could do was speak softly and pat her back. "I just lost track of time but I'm ready."

They both pulled back out of the hug to look around, first at the discarded bottles on the floor and second at Adrian's dishevelled appearance. It was pathetic – they both knew that – but once Jill started giggling, Adrian joined in with laughter of his own. It was infectious enough that even in the midst of his misery, he could laugh like this.

"Maybe not. I guess I'd better clean up before we see the Queen." He meant it as a joke but when he saw Jill shudder, he regretted the words. She had been regretting the dinner ever since she had received the invite from Lissa a few days ago. He couldn't begin to understand what it was like learning that you were a princess, but he knew enough to know that it would suck.

He gave her a quick smile, which she returned half-heartedly, before he disappeared into the bathroom to freshen himself up. It was true – he looked terrible.

By the time he emerged a few minutes later, he resembled his usual self. His hair was styled in its typical messy way and he dressed comfortably yet smart, his wardrobe evident of his family's wealth. The scent of cloves clung to him but he had managed to cover the alcohol with cologne.

His room was still the same but he would tackle that later. What he was about to do would be the tricky part.

Adrian offered Jill his arm, partly in good humour but also to protect her, and she took it gratefully. He might even have noticed her blush but he tried to ignore it for her sake. After giving her hand a good-natured squeeze, he led them from the room.

It was time for dinner with the Queen.

* * *

Jill had never been so nervous.

If it wasn't for Adrian, she was positive that she would have run and hid. Part of her had wanted to ignore Lissa's invitation, but like many things in her life now it was not up to her. She had to do this. She didn't want to be a Princess – she just wanted to go back to St Vladimir's or home to her family – but if she did that then Lissa wouldn't be Queen. Then everyone would hate her.

"Relax, Jailbait," Adrian whispered to her.

She tried to smile – to show him that she was okay – but she couldn't even believe it herself so she doubted that he would. He squeezed her hand again before pulling her forward.

They had finally reached the throne room, despite her many attempts at dawdling. The guardians that lingered outside glanced up at that approach and allowed them entry with a nod of their heads. By now they would have been used to seeing Jill and Adrian's description was not easily a forgettable one.

It was when her feet crossed over into the room and they were led into the dining room that she froze. Adrian stopped with her and spun round to face her, his emerald eyes meeting hers questioningly.

The dhampirs were staring at them now so she fought to keep the tears in but he knew without her even having to say it. His look was reassuring, telling her that it would be okay. If he thought that then it should be true. Maybe she was being silly in worrying so much.

Besides, it wasn't like she was the Queen. All she had to do was sit there.

Most of the people that would be in the room with her she would know – Lissa, Christian, Dimitri, Rose, Eddie, Adrian. Really it was only like one of their old gatherings at school only in a more formal setting. In truth it was far from that but it helped to think of it that way.

Jill took another shaky breath and then nodded to Adrian, deciding that she felt better about it. He took her arm again and they reached the dinner hall.

They were late considering the food that already filled the plates on the table. Lissa and Christian were seated at the foot of the table, with more guardians surrounding them. Eddie was one of them and he smiled at the sight of Jill, though managed to remained stoic even then.

Then there was Rose and Dimitri, who looked ready for battle on either side of the Queen. There was no denying, even as they stood apart, that they were no single entity.

As she felt Adrian go still next to her, her heart went out to him. Nobody deserved this.

* * *

The awkward moment of first seeing Dimitri and Rose aside, the dinner wasn't as terrible as Adrian had first feared. Even Jill seemed to relax after a while, though it was obvious to them all that things were still difficult between her and Lissa. It was only for her sake that he remained sober.

Of course it wasn't the most fun he had ever had either and given the choice he would rather be anywhere else. Jill would likely agree with him.

Each time he looked at Rose, whether it was intentionally or by accident when he was talking to Lissa, he felt the pain in his chest all over again. He recalled the last words they had shared and was overcome with far too many emotions to seem possible.

The look she returned each time was unreadable. Maybe it was regret for the way things had ended between them. Maybe it was guilt for what she had done. Or maybe it was pity like everyone else.

As for Dimitri, Adrian was sure to avoid him completely. An apology had not been said but it had been implied from what he had heard through the grape vine. Apparently Dimitri was _so _ashamed about what had happened, since he valued honour so highly.

If he valued honour so much then why did he steal his girl?

At times there was a silence none of them could shake. It took an arrival of another course or a flippant remark from Adrian for good feelings to return. Honestly there was still a lot of tension between them all – Adrian with Rose and Dimitri, Lissa with Jill – that seemed unshakable. It made him wonder, in knowing this, why Lissa would even plan the dinner.

She must have thought she could fix it, he decided.

It was during the changeover between the main course and dessert that it happened. The group had lapsed into another period of uncomfortable silence, after Adrian had replied to Lissa's question with a shrug. She had asked what his plans were. He seemed to be the only person sat at the time who had no idea and with the events of lately, it seemed more pathetic than ever. His life was pathetic.

Inside of the dhampirs returning with the next course, a group of Moroi entered. Each was dressed in black with their faces covered – and each of them held knives.

It seemed so insane and everything moved too fast for it to make any sense.

The dhampirs flocked to Lissa, backing away with her sandwiched between them protectively.

Nobody moved to protect Jill. Not even Adrian, who was too taken aback to do anything but stare. It was only Eddie who realised what the attackers intended and he darted towards them with inhuman speed, arriving in time to meet the attack with his own. Soon he was one of two blurs locked in combat, fighting for possession of the weapon.

The other guardians entered the fray; except for the few that remained with Lissa should a second wave appear. Adrian noticed absentmindedly that Rose remained with her, though she stared at him with widened eyes.

When he heard the guttural sound at his side, he turned round sharply and his own eyes widened at what he saw.

Blood.

_Jill._

The blood was staining through her dress from a wound in her stomach, as well as her hands as she pressed her fingers against it. Her skin was far paler than usual and her lips seemed to be stuck in forming words.

Her jade eyes met his and he saw that they were already fading fast.

She fell before he could reach her.

The others might have been watching him now but he shut them out.

Adrian pulled her small and fragile form onto his lap; cradling her while the rest of the world went on, oblivious. Somehow he knew the moment he felt her heart stop and a familiar sensation squeezed painfully within his chest.

_Not her. _

_She doesn't deserve this. Not her._

He still held her, though he was aware that Jill was long gone. He was not disillusioned enough to think otherwise. There was nothing romantic about it but somehow he just couldn't quite let her go.

* * *

"Are you sure you're alright?" Rose asked for about the tenth time.

Lissa nodded, though she was still shaken by what had happened. Or more the thought of what could have happened had the attack been successful. She still couldn't believe that she had made it out alive. She understood all of the dangers that came with her position as Queen, especially when so many of the Moroi disliked her new system, but it took an actual attack to make her completely realise it.

She felt safe now with Rose there, but there were still others in danger.

Because of her.

When she felt Rose stiffen at the side of her, she turned to her, suddenly panicked. There were so many possibilities for what she saw and she went through them in her mind. If it was Dimitri, Lissa wasn't sure if she would be able to cope after losing it once already. If it was Christian, she would be the one not to cope.

No matter how many guardians she had, they could do nothing to protect her from her emotions.

The possibility she wasn't prepared for was Jill.

Ever since the truth had come out about her being her sister, Lissa had barely seen her the same way. She had stopped being the shy and awkward girl that had tagged along with them at St Vladimir's, worshipping Rose's fame and blushing whenever she saw Adrian.

Now she realised that she was still the same fragile girl, only she had the weight of being a Princess on her shoulders.

Hadn't Lissa herself struggled with carrying the Dragomir name alone for all those years? Then, when she found someone else, she had shunned her all because of her father's actions.

She was hit with a wave of guilt, particularly when she noticed that she had been wrong. The attack had never been for her – it had always been for Jill. And they had succeeded.

She was dying, if she wasn't dead already.

Adrian was the one who held her and she watched as his aura filled her vision, the gold of spirit mixing with mundane emotions of grief. Lissa noted with amazement that he was almost entirely sober. While she had once used medication to prevent the side effects of spirit, Adrian's means of preventing insanity were unconventional.

If she would have looked away, she would have missed it, but then his aura seemed to glow brighter. It was so bright she almost shielded her eyes. The gold outweighed everything else now and it filled her vision so much that she lost sight of him and Jill on the ground.

It was when her vision had cleared that she realised what had happened – she had experienced the makings of a spirit bond only from the outside. Rose seemed to have realised it too and the two of them exchanged a look.

They had not been bonded since Rose's latest near-death experience but they once had, ever since Lissa had saved Rose from the car crash that had killed her entire family. While she had not been able to feel Rose, she had experienced her actions and emotions through her own eyes, until she learned to control it.

If Lissa was right then that meant that Adrian had brought Jill back.

* * *

The first thing Jill was aware of was the pain. There was a hole in her stomach and out of it seeped blood – too much blood.

Then there was something else: a different kind of pain within her chest. It was her heart and it was felt as though someone was crushing it with their fingers.

'_I loved you! I loved you, and you destroyed me. You took my heart and ripped it up. You might as well have staked me! I. Loved. You. And you used me the whole time.'_

The words seemed to come from her own lips, but the voice wasn't hers. She had never felt so angry, so hurt, so broken. Rose cringed but she didn't seem to care about that.

She had broken her heart.

No, she had broken Adrian's heart.

'_This would never have happened if you would have been more realistic. That girl was always going to break your heart, Adrian. Why can't you see that?'_

She was facing her mother, who regarded her with that pitiful expression she hated.

Then she was walking through the gardens at the Court when she saw them together. He was kissing her, touching her, and they looked so happy. But she couldn't feel happy for them – not when she felt like this.

She would never touch her again, not like _he _would.

No, this was what Adrian was thinking. It wasn't her.

'_You were supposed to meet me – you said. I didn't want to go alone.'_

She was facing herself, only she felt what Adrian had. It was guilt for forgetting but also dread at knowing that he would have to face at the dinner – Rose and Dimitri together.

But he had – for her. He would always love her.

Then she was dead and he was crying over her body, thinking how someone so innocent did not deserve this. _Not her. _

He hadn't thought he had been able to do it.

Nobody thought he could do it. But he had – he had brought her back.

Her jade eyes blinked back at him and with Adrian's relief, she was thrown back into her own body. Her first breaths were painful but soon the pain lessened, as spirit finished its healing.

When Adrian looked at her, she noticed the exhaustion that had set into his face and she felt through their newly-formed connection that he craved a cigarette – badly. Even through the exhaustion, he smiled as he helped her to her feet.

Before the others had the chance to reach them, he squeezed her hand as he had done earlier and whispered something in her ear.

"You scared me, Jailbait."


End file.
